Blogging? –at my age?

So at 47 I have gone through a few ups and downs but have reached a time of contentment. Don’t get me wrong, things are not perfect, things are never perfect. There is always something I’m sure, however sometimes you don’t see the imperfections and that’s when life is good. Or is that just because it was my birthday yesterday and I had a great time with my family and amazing friends or maybe it is the mountain of presents I received… So spoilt and so so grateful. It’s just going to put you in the best mood isn’t it?

Nothing can rain on this parade for the next few days anyway. But 47 ! 47 used to be rate old, but now I am 47 does that make me rate old? I don’t think so however there are certain signs appearing –

I have come to the conclusion that I have reached “that age”, I can remember my mum being “that age” and one of my older friends too *shout out to my oldest old friend (you know who you are!). I never thought it would happen to me though, because “I’m not like other mom’s I’m a cool mom” (* nod to kids) right? Wrong.   So when did the rot set in?

The Early Signs

Well it’s when the kids, especially twin I and II insist they have told me some really important news or information that is vital and I look at them and I nod and maybe speak and it must be convincing because they think I have it.  I have taken on board this important stuff and I shall act upon it. Sadly, though my reaction instills confidence, I’m faking. Not deliberately, not acting or being rude just white noise “in one ear and out of the other” kinda thing.  I mean it is not restricted to the twinners, the big girls get the same treatment their information is less relevant as they are more independent, well they have their own cars anyway.  And the lad, well the lad only interacts when something immediate is required, perhaps a quick lift to the back of beyond which is a 40 minute round trip.  Or the urgent need of an item of clothing to be washed, dried and ironed in record breaking time with no dryer or sunshine.

The Established Realisation

But then “that age” is magnified and practically flashing before my eyes when I take to our family holiday.  The farewell trip overseas.  I say farewell because there is a hope that at 19 the big girls will have far too many opportunities in the future to want to come abroad with us and the lad well he is talking Ibiza and Vegas and you’re not gonna want your dad, step mum and step sisters (*unofficially step but we have put the years in) tagging along to your Pasha experience do you?  Although as previously mentioned I am a “cool mom”.   So anyway I digress, I’m there on holiday, slightly (*very) overweight in my Debenhams bikinis , no one’s looking at me (we will come back to that) and beach wear enjoying family holiday time sun, sea, swimming pool and the other S’s.  We even bought along the MiL (mother in law), don’t recoil at the thought, The MiL is also a cool mom.  She’s a legend, is always up for a laugh and can party like it’s 1999, oh and did I mention she looks amazing (big up to Nanny!).

So yeah we are all there the eight of us, in the best possible place on earth Cyprus, and we are having THE best time, we are all meant for warmer climes and the relaxed life. Until the night I am pleasantly enjoying my own company in Jo world, you know that little bubble of chilled happiness you drift in to while everyone is talking around you? Maybe at the dinner table or in a bar, on a beach but you know everyone is involved but you just took 5 in your own world. Until the bliss is shattered with the one word, sure to get your attention – “Mother!” Snap back in the room, yes? *nods looking interested

“are you even listening?”

“Im sure you’re deaf!”

“you do it all the time!”

*shots fired the flood gates open and a barrage of comments fly at me.

I didn’t think I was deaf, I didn’t think I ignored the kids but hold on a minute! Am I ?