over40

All over for another year

Posted on by jomotherdearest

Happy

Ah well that’s that then. The anticipation, the preparation, the expectation, the participation followed by the recovery, the dismantling and the end.

I love Christmas. I mean I really LOVE Christmas, the kids excitement, the parents excitement, the giving, the receiving the twinkling lights, the tree, the songs, the family gatherings the copious amounts of alcohol. It’s just the best time for me, and reflecting on Christmas 2015 it may well be one of the most enjoyable. My handsome even thinks it was the best ever.

Don’t get me wrong it was not perfect. If you ask my first born there was a major oversight on Christmas day – to forget the stuffing was unforgivable and yes I take full responsibility despite being reminded prior to not forget this key ingredient. I have suffered for my sin and feel that this mistake has been learned from. Having said that there is every chance that the same thing could happen again next year. My memory, I ain’t gonna lie, is atrocious!!

Stuffing gate apart, there was no hassle. The meal was a dream, we even sat down to eat on time and the shock of all shocks in my house was that –

 

The Actual Christmas Pudding was Actually eaten on Actual Chrsitmas day!!

 

 

I Know!!

Normally I find it at the back of the cupboard around November the following year and bin it. But no, as it goes this was epic!!

Also,   STOP PRESS for once in a long time I managed to avoid any illness WINNER! Sadly the couldn’t be said for some both baby Bans with antibiotics and paracetamol going down a plenty.    *sad face

My anticipation and excitement had no anticlimax either – I get so excited on the build up and in a flash its over and then it seems to take forever to come around again (well a year to be exact!).  But it feels OK this time, I can cope with it (once I get over the loss of the tree, let’s not get started on “taking down the Christmas tree day” *sigh) no really I feel fine.

I feel ready for the year ahead.  We have no great plans for the year and are just going to take it as it comes. Normally I need something to look forward to, like the promise of a holiday abroad but this is not even on the horizon as yet.   What is going on?  Am I just well rested or is it a case of reaching “that age!” – see previous post!!  Are all of the planets aligned, are my hormones dormant, am I still tipsy?  Who knows but I like it A LOT! I shall ride this positivity for as long as I can.

Don’t get me wrong, the return to work part – it was a toughie getting up and dressed but let’s be honest the build up to this was not good.  The feeling of dread as you approach the weekend before starting back, then going to bed the night before  *gulp.   But once you are back and in the swing it’s not so bad. You are in the work saddle galloping towards the end of the day and bosh before you know it you are home again pondering what to cook for tea. The same groove is found, all good.  Plus the addition of a couple of New Year resolutions thrown in.  Just for the record  I have resolved to

1>    Stop swearing!

– A tall task as in recent years I have found it increasingly funny to swear, I mean really swear. And it has been hilarious, the kids find it funny too and I do like an audience but it’s just not appropriate really for a lady (that’s me).

2>  Be Kind

– My new mantra, is the old adage “if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all.” This too is a biggy and I feel maybe I would have had more chance sticking to giving up alcohol (*gasp) and chocolate but I am giving it a go. I may have a secret little moan now and then with the bestie but in general it is forbidden.

A resolution progress report will be given moving forward, have everything crossed for me ;o)

Anyways, back on the wheel of life and as it goes looking through these rose tinted glasses which I appear to have gained it’s all good.

So Happy New Year one and all lets enjoy 2016

Big Love

Jo

 

 

Oh btw I am permitted to spell out swear words (if required)

Picking Out The Peppers

Posted on by jomotherdearest

pepper face

Why oh why do people use peppers in everything? 

You think oh that’s a nice “Spicy Chickpea and Spinach” soup open it……grrrr peppers!   Fair doos when it says vegetable soup throw a pepper in it’s a broad description, I can accept that.  So during my 30 minute lunch I am picking out the peppers grudgingly thinking how wonderful life would be without peppers. 

Dwelling on the pepper faff…..    

But then a revelation, a sunny side, in moment of positivity I think about the leftover homemade veggie lasagne I had last night, the amazing curry out on Friday in fact all of the tonnes of food I eat without peppers in.  It’s easy to dwell on the negative.

At times I am guilty of becoming engulfed in negativity caused by the actions of someone or maybe a situation.  I’m really angry or upset or both!  The thought keeps springing to mind and I go through scenarios of how to deal with them or it.  How to throw the upset back at them?        

How to make them know I don’t care*

(*I always care). 

People say put it out of your mind, take no notice, let it go – Let it go!   Nods to Frozen, which I still haven’t seen….. maybe this Christmas!   

I digress…

But when you are in that moment of fury or hurt you just can’t let it go.  But eventually I do, sometimes a couple of hours, some times a couple of days maybe longer.  But you get over it.

That person or thing becomes less important or even insignificant.  Then you look back and think why did I hang onto those feelings for that long, what a waste of energy and emotion.

I suppose it’s human nature and it appears everyone is affected by it.  Although not everyone will admit it.

I read self help articles about mindfulness and how holding onto anger and frustration only affects you and to release your mind.  But I’m not sure how you practice that (….it says to practice). 

The good thing with me, and I consider it a superpower (yes I have a superpower, in fact I have more than one….but thats for another day)

I am pretty sure not everyone has this!!

It is that when time passes and I look back I don’t see the negative just the positive.  When people reflect on their life so far there can be gloomy moments but when I cast my mind back, for some reason only the good times come easily to mind.

I have to really stop to recall the negative or even have things pointed out to me.    My life has been far from perfect but I think it’s been golden.  There has been problems, upset and some right humdingers!!  But my brain has a some kind of a filing system which is able to bury these memories deep.  They are there but just not easily access-able, it’s bloody great!  I just wish I was able to do the same with short term events, but then I would just be annoyingly positive constantly and get on everyones wick!

What’s all that got to do with bloody peppers……  eh!

Yeah well, the thought process is, that there’s always going to be unexpected peppers in things prepared by other people, you can’t change that.  I can’t go through life only eating my own made food,

I’m too lazy for that!   

You can’t change how others will affect you but as long as the majority of food you scoff you make yourself  then life ain’t half bad…….. This is proper deep stuff this is!

Anyways the soup was great once I picked em out but it made a proper mess – maybe just try a different one next time and cut out the faff!!

a bear in my previous life

Posted on by jomotherdearest

So now my birthday cards have come down and with the final of The Great British Bake Off done and dusted – go Nadiya!  I guess we are on the Christmas countdown.  Strictly is well under way the nights are getting darker, my candles are lit each night, although we haven’t had a fire in log burner as yet.

Autumn is well and truly here and I think it’s my favourite season.  The changing colour of nature, jumpers, coats, snuggles and blankets.  But then winter ahhh winter is a true love – frosty mornings, the promise of snow, Christmas fun and the beginning of a new year, sparkly dresses, glitter nail polish.

What about Spring?  The joy,  the new life and growth, the lighter evenings,  feeling fresh and shaking off the weight of a winter wardrobe.  But summer in the mix,  balmy evenings in the garden, freshly cut grass, summer clothes, summer nails!, the sheer joy of a holiday, lush!   Is Autumn my fave?

Lets say I like a change in the seasons I love them all for very different reasons and can’t pick a favourite.

This year feels like it has been sooo busy for socialising!  I may exaggerate.  Weekend after weekend its like I have spent no time at home which has often been pointed out to me by Twin I and II.  So I have declared the month of November a NO GOING OUT MONTH, yes you heard right, not a night out in sight and the thought of it thrills me.  In fact October plans are pretty calm although there is a girlie overnighter in Manchester planned mid month (eeek! excited) should be eventful and blogworthy.

No plans for November – no plans… feels amazing.

Although there will be temptation thrown my way, probably from my bae-star.   I should introduce the bae-star, she’s Thelma to my Louise, my crochet Yoda.  A tiny ginger with the hugest heart (it’s probably a purple heart that beats inside her).   She’s my sister from an other mister and likes to plan party nights out and party nights in.  There ain’t no party like a bae-star party.
Will I resist?  Can I say no? this is the question, I feel resolute but the force is strong!   Obviously crochet nights and a couple in the BoatNorses don’t count as going out so I shan’t be reclusive.

Whilst revelling in my joy of slobbing out I mentioned my plans, or lack of them, in the workplace where it was pointed out to me that I say this every year.  Apparently every year I proclaim that I need to stay home to snuggle down in my nest, to hibernate from the social world.  I want to turn on my twinkly lights and wear wooly socks in front of a raging fire sipping Baileys and eating comfort food.  My friend says all of a sudden my social media photos change and turn to soft lighting and a warm glow.  Oooh just thinking about it makes me happy.  It’s the whole experience setting the room up for nestling down, like a furry creature wrapped in my pjs and dressing gown, circling the piles of scatter cushions trampling my spot to curl up on.

It’s heaven in a living room my natural habitat and  I have learned that there is a word for this, a Danish word ‘hygge’ (pronounced ‘hooga’) which translates roughly to ‘cosiness’.  You have to google it, it’s me, it’s my ultimate feel good environment.

So maybe Autumn/Winter are my favourites, now where is that pack of tea lights…….

cosy

Blogging at my age?

Posted on by jomotherdearest

Blogging? –at my age?

So at 47 I have gone through a few ups and downs but have reached a time of contentment. Don’t get me wrong, things are not perfect, things are never perfect. There is always something I’m sure, however sometimes you don’t see the imperfections and that’s when life is good. Or is that just because it was my birthday yesterday and I had a great time with my family and amazing friends or maybe it is the mountain of presents I received… So spoilt and so so grateful. It’s just going to put you in the best mood isn’t it?

Nothing can rain on this parade for the next few days anyway. But 47 ! 47 used to be rate old, but now I am 47 does that make me rate old? I don’t think so however there are certain signs appearing –

I have come to the conclusion that I have reached “that age”, I can remember my mum being “that age” and one of my older friends too *shout out to my oldest old friend (you know who you are!). I never thought it would happen to me though, because “I’m not like other mom’s I’m a cool mom” (* nod to kids) right? Wrong.   So when did the rot set in?

The Early Signs

Well it’s when the kids, especially twin I and II insist they have told me some really important news or information that is vital and I look at them and I nod and maybe speak and it must be convincing because they think I have it.  I have taken on board this important stuff and I shall act upon it. Sadly, though my reaction instills confidence, I’m faking. Not deliberately, not acting or being rude just white noise “in one ear and out of the other” kinda thing.  I mean it is not restricted to the twinners, the big girls get the same treatment their information is less relevant as they are more independent, well they have their own cars anyway.  And the lad, well the lad only interacts when something immediate is required, perhaps a quick lift to the back of beyond which is a 40 minute round trip.  Or the urgent need of an item of clothing to be washed, dried and ironed in record breaking time with no dryer or sunshine.

The Established Realisation

But then “that age” is magnified and practically flashing before my eyes when I take to our family holiday.  The farewell trip overseas.  I say farewell because there is a hope that at 19 the big girls will have far too many opportunities in the future to want to come abroad with us and the lad well he is talking Ibiza and Vegas and you’re not gonna want your dad, step mum and step sisters (*unofficially step but we have put the years in) tagging along to your Pasha experience do you?  Although as previously mentioned I am a “cool mom”.   So anyway I digress, I’m there on holiday, slightly (*very) overweight in my Debenhams bikinis , no one’s looking at me (we will come back to that) and beach wear enjoying family holiday time sun, sea, swimming pool and the other S’s.  We even bought along the MiL (mother in law), don’t recoil at the thought, The MiL is also a cool mom.  She’s a legend, is always up for a laugh and can party like it’s 1999, oh and did I mention she looks amazing (big up to Nanny!).

So yeah we are all there the eight of us, in the best possible place on earth Cyprus, and we are having THE best time, we are all meant for warmer climes and the relaxed life. Until the night I am pleasantly enjoying my own company in Jo world, you know that little bubble of chilled happiness you drift in to while everyone is talking around you? Maybe at the dinner table or in a bar, on a beach but you know everyone is involved but you just took 5 in your own world. Until the bliss is shattered with the one word, sure to get your attention – “Mother!” Snap back in the room, yes? *nods looking interested

“are you even listening?”

“Im sure you’re deaf!”

“you do it all the time!”

*shots fired the flood gates open and a barrage of comments fly at me.

I didn’t think I was deaf, I didn’t think I ignored the kids but hold on a minute! Am I ?