positive

Commitment Issues

Posted on by jomotherdearest

So it’s lent – I am in no way religious anymore but have always found lent a good measurement of time in which to test my willpower to give something up. So after a little chat and a eureka moment, I thought a good test would be to give up drinking coffee. I do enjoy my cuppa and it is a ritual for me especially in the morning to savour my weak, milky, one sweetener brew. So here we are let’s test myself – wake up the next morning and get a coffee brought to me in bed and wham – I drank it! Never gave it a second thought , ooops there goes that plan. So later in the day I think maybe I will give up chocolate but then this just dissipates in to a pathetic can’t even be bothered to try! Whatever is wrong with me? When did I become so disinterested in testing or pushing myself?

I appear to have developed a new mind set or is it just a realisation? I have, as the title suggests, commitment issues. I don’t mean in the strong deep love, I mean more in a day to day making plans, forward thinking kind of way. I have some routine but it’s tremendously loose, in fact almost nonexistent! I see social media status’s of people with their lives together – just done the gym, cooked and prepared meals for the week, walked the dog, washed, dried and ironed 3 loads of washing and just settling down to read a book on self development….phew!!   Jeeeez, I’m more of a just got home, fussed the dog, danced with the kids and what the hell are we gonna have for tea person!!

On occasion it makes me feel inferior to others who march through a week knowing what they are doing every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.   What’s for tea, when the dog needs walking, when is the shopping done, who’s birthday is it? Like everyone has the life together, you know – got this life down and sorted.

I have had times where I think right lets plan out a menu for the week, a holiday, a weekend, a diet etc etc but I can’t remember when I have stuck to it. I have even pushed back against it and sabotaged myself – recently I paid in advance for several weeks at my slimming club, trying to fool myself that because I had paid hard earned cash then I wouldn’t miss it…..   wrong!   I just end up resenting the fact that I now HAVE to go!

So what’s the problem, maybe it’s the weather? Maybe it’s winter and dark nights? Perhaps it’s my high fat, high sugar, high carb diet? This is highly likely reading all of the motivational diet tips on my social media news feed.   I am dangerously close to joining 15fit or fit15 you know the lovely guy throwing food into a wok online and bursting with FIIT exercise videos. The results look amazing, totally inspiring as I sit frumping on the sofa spilling crumbs on my ipad reading about the amazing transformations. But here I am teetering, hesitating, faffing trying to make the decision to do it or not. Not wanting to commit!!

I need a spark something to light a fire under me to get going but I just don’t know where it’s going to come from. I am floating down stream belly to the sky humming the bear necessities… but as they say Summer Bodies are made in Winter!!   Come ON!!

All over for another year

Posted on by jomotherdearest

Happy

Ah well that’s that then. The anticipation, the preparation, the expectation, the participation followed by the recovery, the dismantling and the end.

I love Christmas. I mean I really LOVE Christmas, the kids excitement, the parents excitement, the giving, the receiving the twinkling lights, the tree, the songs, the family gatherings the copious amounts of alcohol. It’s just the best time for me, and reflecting on Christmas 2015 it may well be one of the most enjoyable. My handsome even thinks it was the best ever.

Don’t get me wrong it was not perfect. If you ask my first born there was a major oversight on Christmas day – to forget the stuffing was unforgivable and yes I take full responsibility despite being reminded prior to not forget this key ingredient. I have suffered for my sin and feel that this mistake has been learned from. Having said that there is every chance that the same thing could happen again next year. My memory, I ain’t gonna lie, is atrocious!!

Stuffing gate apart, there was no hassle. The meal was a dream, we even sat down to eat on time and the shock of all shocks in my house was that –

 

The Actual Christmas Pudding was Actually eaten on Actual Chrsitmas day!!

 

 

I Know!!

Normally I find it at the back of the cupboard around November the following year and bin it. But no, as it goes this was epic!!

Also,   STOP PRESS for once in a long time I managed to avoid any illness WINNER! Sadly the couldn’t be said for some both baby Bans with antibiotics and paracetamol going down a plenty.    *sad face

My anticipation and excitement had no anticlimax either – I get so excited on the build up and in a flash its over and then it seems to take forever to come around again (well a year to be exact!).  But it feels OK this time, I can cope with it (once I get over the loss of the tree, let’s not get started on “taking down the Christmas tree day” *sigh) no really I feel fine.

I feel ready for the year ahead.  We have no great plans for the year and are just going to take it as it comes. Normally I need something to look forward to, like the promise of a holiday abroad but this is not even on the horizon as yet.   What is going on?  Am I just well rested or is it a case of reaching “that age!” – see previous post!!  Are all of the planets aligned, are my hormones dormant, am I still tipsy?  Who knows but I like it A LOT! I shall ride this positivity for as long as I can.

Don’t get me wrong, the return to work part – it was a toughie getting up and dressed but let’s be honest the build up to this was not good.  The feeling of dread as you approach the weekend before starting back, then going to bed the night before  *gulp.   But once you are back and in the swing it’s not so bad. You are in the work saddle galloping towards the end of the day and bosh before you know it you are home again pondering what to cook for tea. The same groove is found, all good.  Plus the addition of a couple of New Year resolutions thrown in.  Just for the record  I have resolved to

1>    Stop swearing!

– A tall task as in recent years I have found it increasingly funny to swear, I mean really swear. And it has been hilarious, the kids find it funny too and I do like an audience but it’s just not appropriate really for a lady (that’s me).

2>  Be Kind

– My new mantra, is the old adage “if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all.” This too is a biggy and I feel maybe I would have had more chance sticking to giving up alcohol (*gasp) and chocolate but I am giving it a go. I may have a secret little moan now and then with the bestie but in general it is forbidden.

A resolution progress report will be given moving forward, have everything crossed for me ;o)

Anyways, back on the wheel of life and as it goes looking through these rose tinted glasses which I appear to have gained it’s all good.

So Happy New Year one and all lets enjoy 2016

Big Love

Jo

 

 

Oh btw I am permitted to spell out swear words (if required)

Picking Out The Peppers

Posted on by jomotherdearest

pepper face

Why oh why do people use peppers in everything? 

You think oh that’s a nice “Spicy Chickpea and Spinach” soup open it……grrrr peppers!   Fair doos when it says vegetable soup throw a pepper in it’s a broad description, I can accept that.  So during my 30 minute lunch I am picking out the peppers grudgingly thinking how wonderful life would be without peppers. 

Dwelling on the pepper faff…..    

But then a revelation, a sunny side, in moment of positivity I think about the leftover homemade veggie lasagne I had last night, the amazing curry out on Friday in fact all of the tonnes of food I eat without peppers in.  It’s easy to dwell on the negative.

At times I am guilty of becoming engulfed in negativity caused by the actions of someone or maybe a situation.  I’m really angry or upset or both!  The thought keeps springing to mind and I go through scenarios of how to deal with them or it.  How to throw the upset back at them?        

How to make them know I don’t care*

(*I always care). 

People say put it out of your mind, take no notice, let it go – Let it go!   Nods to Frozen, which I still haven’t seen….. maybe this Christmas!   

I digress…

But when you are in that moment of fury or hurt you just can’t let it go.  But eventually I do, sometimes a couple of hours, some times a couple of days maybe longer.  But you get over it.

That person or thing becomes less important or even insignificant.  Then you look back and think why did I hang onto those feelings for that long, what a waste of energy and emotion.

I suppose it’s human nature and it appears everyone is affected by it.  Although not everyone will admit it.

I read self help articles about mindfulness and how holding onto anger and frustration only affects you and to release your mind.  But I’m not sure how you practice that (….it says to practice). 

The good thing with me, and I consider it a superpower (yes I have a superpower, in fact I have more than one….but thats for another day)

I am pretty sure not everyone has this!!

It is that when time passes and I look back I don’t see the negative just the positive.  When people reflect on their life so far there can be gloomy moments but when I cast my mind back, for some reason only the good times come easily to mind.

I have to really stop to recall the negative or even have things pointed out to me.    My life has been far from perfect but I think it’s been golden.  There has been problems, upset and some right humdingers!!  But my brain has a some kind of a filing system which is able to bury these memories deep.  They are there but just not easily access-able, it’s bloody great!  I just wish I was able to do the same with short term events, but then I would just be annoyingly positive constantly and get on everyones wick!

What’s all that got to do with bloody peppers……  eh!

Yeah well, the thought process is, that there’s always going to be unexpected peppers in things prepared by other people, you can’t change that.  I can’t go through life only eating my own made food,

I’m too lazy for that!   

You can’t change how others will affect you but as long as the majority of food you scoff you make yourself  then life ain’t half bad…….. This is proper deep stuff this is!

Anyways the soup was great once I picked em out but it made a proper mess – maybe just try a different one next time and cut out the faff!!