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Temptation,Contemplation and Reflection

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“Tions”      

Temptation,Contemplation and Reflection

It’s tricky to keep up to date with blogging and with “New Year New Me” resolutions a plenty I thought about committing to doing a blog a week.  Failed at that already….. indeed this post was started a week ago and only now finished! (tut) 

I have also tried to be punctual (I can hear the laughter ring out amongst my friends!).  But anyway I have these good intentions and I really mean it.  I want to be and do so many things.

I had a conversation with the first born the other day about “doing people”  you know “people who do”.  You know who they are.  I know some of these people, they say they are going to do something and they do it. 

It doesn’t have to be something life changing like home schooling a family then deciding to sell everything and explore the country in a camper van.   No, no, it could be small things like drink more water, go to bed earlier, no swearing.  All of which I have said I am going to do and all of which I seem to stop doing after a week or two.  So what is the key, what is their secret and how do I stand a chance of being like that.  I have entered a huge test of my willpower.  In our studio at work a few of us are giving up eating chocolate from 9th January until Easter.  Now if you know me you know I love chocolate….. no I mean I REALLY love chocolate.  And I love the idea of testing myself, one of the guys is going to give up booze too but that is just a step too far for me!!!  I think my problem will be forgetting that I have jacked it in, I can picture myself on autopilot and shovelling a wispa bar in not even thinking.  Well we shall see soon enough I will update on my progress and fingers crossed.

Anyway changing the subject entirely and clinging on to the Christmas and New Year break, it has to be said that I had one of the best times ever!   I probably say that every year as I seem to live in the moment and file previous amazing times for filtering and recollection when least expected.  However, I do remember a really pants time I had a couple of Christmas’s ago when I was really poorly.  That was a stand out bad time, having said that I managed to enjoy the key moments (such a trooper!).   

So this year it was the kids turn to be with their other parent, which is always rubbish because there is nothing like waking early with all of them opening gifts in their new Christmas pyjamas but we (Handsome and me) have been able to cope better year on year.  The kids just seem to roll with it no problem at all.  So Handsome headed off alone to help a local church to deliver meals to vulnerable, lonely and disadvantaged people.  He did it last year with all of the kids and it was such a great thing to do they are making it a new family tradition (proud me).  While he is off on his deliveries I prep the Christmas dinner which this year was a piece of cake as there were only my mom and dad and Handsome’s mum.  I was all over it!   Handsome picked them up and we began the merriment.  Champagne, turkey and veg a plenty.  Before we knew it the kids were all rocking up and on we went with more gift opening, smiles and music.  Just the best time ever.  The only think missing was my sister and her family…. She’s a nurse and had to work until 8pm, looking after the oldies bless her. 

Then we fell into that twixt and tween…. when you don’t know what day it is, what arrangements you have made, the rollercoaster of drunken gatherings and days in pjs recovering.  Again best time ever!   

This year we had a 10 day stretch from work!  Total bliss.

And then New Years Eve, don’t even get me started on NYE!  After last year committing to 3 different people that we would spend New Year with them and obviously cancelling on 2 of them (it was not nice) we decided to have a house party of our own so we could be with everyone.  The fave son was obviously off doing his thing with his mates as any 18 year old lad would.  He did however phone me  from the races, very tipsy and excitable to wish me Happy New Year.  It was a good few hours in advance of the midnight hour just in case he was in no fit state!  The thought was much appreciated.   

So having our home full with friends and family with music and laugher I felt a huge sense of happiness.  When the midnight hour struck and we crossed hands to auld lang syne and  I felt quite overwhelmed looking around at my circle.  I can’t remember the last time the oldies were with us.  It was almost the perfect moment, obvs would have been perfect had the boy been around, however knowing he was having a ball out with his friends i guess it was perfect.  A golden moment.

Bye 2016 lets see what 2017 has in store for us.

Over the rainbow

Posted on by jomotherdearest

ed-breadYAY!!!!   I’M BACK

I am back in the game!   I mean back in the blog game after an 8 month drought. I don’t know why I leave it so long because enjoy putting my thoughts down and spreading a little love onto the web. It’s more like writing a diary and I love it.

So anyway, casting my mind back… it’s been a busy time and it’s going to take few blogs of the highlights to get you up to speed.

So lets start with the earliest and perhaps biggest event this year which was when my sister, niece and nephew moved in with us.   Before I expand I just have to share how overjoyed I was.   It has been one of the happiest times ever and I am lucky enough to have had a pretty happy life, not withstanding a few bumps in the road.

Anyway on to the story….. So with a bit of manoeuvring and constructing additional beds we were set!   We only have a run-of-the mill semi-detached house and the loft conversation was the key to accommodating everyone. But that was just logistics and my ma n pa love a project!!

Emotionally it was hard to see sis so stressed and pushed to her limits and to say that her leaving her previous relationship was easy would be wrong, there were obviously tricky times. However the freedom that came made me feel over the bloody moon!   To say we celebrated that weekend was an understatement and can perhaps be put into context by you visualising a quiet drink at the local rugby club ending in us walking home in the early hours wearing sombreros and Mexican style ponchos!   Celebrations then continuing at the obligatory after party in the kitchen ♯tequila

So a groove was found with the family, dinner for 10 was interesting and the washing machine was pushed to the max. However my sister has this unhealthy habit of actually enjoying ironing (I know weird right?) so the turnaround time on getting laundry back increased 10 fold but whether you got the right jeans/knickers/leggings etc was another story.

Domestics aside, it is a big step starting a new life and one which you enter into tentatively making big decisions on a new home and how your life will move forward. So when you are starting this new life over the rainbow what is the first thing would you do? *pause for effect

Well of course my Sis being my Sis, you go out a buy a new kitten obvs!!

Crackers I know!

We have the resident Killer Kat, Westie My Bestie, 2 Gangster* Pigs (*this is not a typo) and a Bunny but hey ho lets get a kitten in the mix. It sounds like was dead against such a ludicrous idea…. Nah of course not! I thought it was a fantastic idea!   I was so excited and boy oh boy did we all fall in love with the ginger ninja!   Ed Cat arrived and he is gorgeous!   Even the boy was smitten with him and there were snapchats a plenty of the little fluff ball. My Handsome literally had no choice and I have to say (don’t tell him I said this) but we could rock up with all sorts of pets and he would moan for a day and then love it like the rest of us. Oh that is of course as long there are not hairs all over everywhere. He doesn’t do animal hair, or human hair, or fluff or glitter but I digress.

Super Ed Bread was amongst us and all was well in our bulging, packed to the rafters happy home.   Bliss!!

And we all lived happily ever after.

Well not quite true, the nephew moved in with his girlfriend (sniff!  Another one of our babies growing up)  It was one of those moments when my first born always says “Mum, are you gonna cry?  You are, you are, you are gonna cry aren’t you?” and yes it was emotional.

And then Sis found happiness again with an amazing parter and a gorgeous place to live then left taking my niece and Ed Bread with her……  Just like that gone and yes I did cry! Empty nest syndrome or what!  How on earth was this 40 year old woman going to survive out there in the world without me?  How would my niece cope without her bestest Aunty Jo?
And Ed….. he thought I was his mum (don’t tell Sis!) taken away, toys bed the lot!!       *more tears

(sad song plays)

……..   Anyway I got over it (sniff).  I got used to the idea but actually spent every spare minute dropping in on her at the new place and ensured that we both had keys to each others houses so that there was never any more visiting.  No no they can all just come and go as they please like it’s their second home.  I returned to only cooking for the street instead of the whole town, I can never get the pasta portions right.  Twin II returned to her bedroom, the washing machine slowed and the ironing pile grew…..(actually that’s a lie cos Nanny McFaff is the angel of ironing).

A new balance was found.

On reflection though, my Handsome was a little too happy when Ed moved out.  Mainly because he kept crapping in the bath (Ed not Handsome)  but the favour was quickly repaid when Westie My Bestie did the same on Sisters shiny kitchen floor!

Life resumed as was, however there are still 4 beds on that top floor just incase I can talk anyone else into moving in!

Commitment Issues

Posted on by jomotherdearest

So it’s lent – I am in no way religious anymore but have always found lent a good measurement of time in which to test my willpower to give something up. So after a little chat and a eureka moment, I thought a good test would be to give up drinking coffee. I do enjoy my cuppa and it is a ritual for me especially in the morning to savour my weak, milky, one sweetener brew. So here we are let’s test myself – wake up the next morning and get a coffee brought to me in bed and wham – I drank it! Never gave it a second thought , ooops there goes that plan. So later in the day I think maybe I will give up chocolate but then this just dissipates in to a pathetic can’t even be bothered to try! Whatever is wrong with me? When did I become so disinterested in testing or pushing myself?

I appear to have developed a new mind set or is it just a realisation? I have, as the title suggests, commitment issues. I don’t mean in the strong deep love, I mean more in a day to day making plans, forward thinking kind of way. I have some routine but it’s tremendously loose, in fact almost nonexistent! I see social media status’s of people with their lives together – just done the gym, cooked and prepared meals for the week, walked the dog, washed, dried and ironed 3 loads of washing and just settling down to read a book on self development….phew!!   Jeeeez, I’m more of a just got home, fussed the dog, danced with the kids and what the hell are we gonna have for tea person!!

On occasion it makes me feel inferior to others who march through a week knowing what they are doing every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.   What’s for tea, when the dog needs walking, when is the shopping done, who’s birthday is it? Like everyone has the life together, you know – got this life down and sorted.

I have had times where I think right lets plan out a menu for the week, a holiday, a weekend, a diet etc etc but I can’t remember when I have stuck to it. I have even pushed back against it and sabotaged myself – recently I paid in advance for several weeks at my slimming club, trying to fool myself that because I had paid hard earned cash then I wouldn’t miss it…..   wrong!   I just end up resenting the fact that I now HAVE to go!

So what’s the problem, maybe it’s the weather? Maybe it’s winter and dark nights? Perhaps it’s my high fat, high sugar, high carb diet? This is highly likely reading all of the motivational diet tips on my social media news feed.   I am dangerously close to joining 15fit or fit15 you know the lovely guy throwing food into a wok online and bursting with FIIT exercise videos. The results look amazing, totally inspiring as I sit frumping on the sofa spilling crumbs on my ipad reading about the amazing transformations. But here I am teetering, hesitating, faffing trying to make the decision to do it or not. Not wanting to commit!!

I need a spark something to light a fire under me to get going but I just don’t know where it’s going to come from. I am floating down stream belly to the sky humming the bear necessities… but as they say Summer Bodies are made in Winter!!   Come ON!!

All over for another year

Posted on by jomotherdearest

Happy

Ah well that’s that then. The anticipation, the preparation, the expectation, the participation followed by the recovery, the dismantling and the end.

I love Christmas. I mean I really LOVE Christmas, the kids excitement, the parents excitement, the giving, the receiving the twinkling lights, the tree, the songs, the family gatherings the copious amounts of alcohol. It’s just the best time for me, and reflecting on Christmas 2015 it may well be one of the most enjoyable. My handsome even thinks it was the best ever.

Don’t get me wrong it was not perfect. If you ask my first born there was a major oversight on Christmas day – to forget the stuffing was unforgivable and yes I take full responsibility despite being reminded prior to not forget this key ingredient. I have suffered for my sin and feel that this mistake has been learned from. Having said that there is every chance that the same thing could happen again next year. My memory, I ain’t gonna lie, is atrocious!!

Stuffing gate apart, there was no hassle. The meal was a dream, we even sat down to eat on time and the shock of all shocks in my house was that –

 

The Actual Christmas Pudding was Actually eaten on Actual Chrsitmas day!!

 

 

I Know!!

Normally I find it at the back of the cupboard around November the following year and bin it. But no, as it goes this was epic!!

Also,   STOP PRESS for once in a long time I managed to avoid any illness WINNER! Sadly the couldn’t be said for some both baby Bans with antibiotics and paracetamol going down a plenty.    *sad face

My anticipation and excitement had no anticlimax either – I get so excited on the build up and in a flash its over and then it seems to take forever to come around again (well a year to be exact!).  But it feels OK this time, I can cope with it (once I get over the loss of the tree, let’s not get started on “taking down the Christmas tree day” *sigh) no really I feel fine.

I feel ready for the year ahead.  We have no great plans for the year and are just going to take it as it comes. Normally I need something to look forward to, like the promise of a holiday abroad but this is not even on the horizon as yet.   What is going on?  Am I just well rested or is it a case of reaching “that age!” – see previous post!!  Are all of the planets aligned, are my hormones dormant, am I still tipsy?  Who knows but I like it A LOT! I shall ride this positivity for as long as I can.

Don’t get me wrong, the return to work part – it was a toughie getting up and dressed but let’s be honest the build up to this was not good.  The feeling of dread as you approach the weekend before starting back, then going to bed the night before  *gulp.   But once you are back and in the swing it’s not so bad. You are in the work saddle galloping towards the end of the day and bosh before you know it you are home again pondering what to cook for tea. The same groove is found, all good.  Plus the addition of a couple of New Year resolutions thrown in.  Just for the record  I have resolved to

1>    Stop swearing!

– A tall task as in recent years I have found it increasingly funny to swear, I mean really swear. And it has been hilarious, the kids find it funny too and I do like an audience but it’s just not appropriate really for a lady (that’s me).

2>  Be Kind

– My new mantra, is the old adage “if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all.” This too is a biggy and I feel maybe I would have had more chance sticking to giving up alcohol (*gasp) and chocolate but I am giving it a go. I may have a secret little moan now and then with the bestie but in general it is forbidden.

A resolution progress report will be given moving forward, have everything crossed for me ;o)

Anyways, back on the wheel of life and as it goes looking through these rose tinted glasses which I appear to have gained it’s all good.

So Happy New Year one and all lets enjoy 2016

Big Love

Jo

 

 

Oh btw I am permitted to spell out swear words (if required)

Picking Out The Peppers

Posted on by jomotherdearest

pepper face

Why oh why do people use peppers in everything? 

You think oh that’s a nice “Spicy Chickpea and Spinach” soup open it……grrrr peppers!   Fair doos when it says vegetable soup throw a pepper in it’s a broad description, I can accept that.  So during my 30 minute lunch I am picking out the peppers grudgingly thinking how wonderful life would be without peppers. 

Dwelling on the pepper faff…..    

But then a revelation, a sunny side, in moment of positivity I think about the leftover homemade veggie lasagne I had last night, the amazing curry out on Friday in fact all of the tonnes of food I eat without peppers in.  It’s easy to dwell on the negative.

At times I am guilty of becoming engulfed in negativity caused by the actions of someone or maybe a situation.  I’m really angry or upset or both!  The thought keeps springing to mind and I go through scenarios of how to deal with them or it.  How to throw the upset back at them?        

How to make them know I don’t care*

(*I always care). 

People say put it out of your mind, take no notice, let it go – Let it go!   Nods to Frozen, which I still haven’t seen….. maybe this Christmas!   

I digress…

But when you are in that moment of fury or hurt you just can’t let it go.  But eventually I do, sometimes a couple of hours, some times a couple of days maybe longer.  But you get over it.

That person or thing becomes less important or even insignificant.  Then you look back and think why did I hang onto those feelings for that long, what a waste of energy and emotion.

I suppose it’s human nature and it appears everyone is affected by it.  Although not everyone will admit it.

I read self help articles about mindfulness and how holding onto anger and frustration only affects you and to release your mind.  But I’m not sure how you practice that (….it says to practice). 

The good thing with me, and I consider it a superpower (yes I have a superpower, in fact I have more than one….but thats for another day)

I am pretty sure not everyone has this!!

It is that when time passes and I look back I don’t see the negative just the positive.  When people reflect on their life so far there can be gloomy moments but when I cast my mind back, for some reason only the good times come easily to mind.

I have to really stop to recall the negative or even have things pointed out to me.    My life has been far from perfect but I think it’s been golden.  There has been problems, upset and some right humdingers!!  But my brain has a some kind of a filing system which is able to bury these memories deep.  They are there but just not easily access-able, it’s bloody great!  I just wish I was able to do the same with short term events, but then I would just be annoyingly positive constantly and get on everyones wick!

What’s all that got to do with bloody peppers……  eh!

Yeah well, the thought process is, that there’s always going to be unexpected peppers in things prepared by other people, you can’t change that.  I can’t go through life only eating my own made food,

I’m too lazy for that!   

You can’t change how others will affect you but as long as the majority of food you scoff you make yourself  then life ain’t half bad…….. This is proper deep stuff this is!

Anyways the soup was great once I picked em out but it made a proper mess – maybe just try a different one next time and cut out the faff!!