I’m feeling all over the place at the moment.

It’s like my mind is buzzing and running in all directions so much that I am losing focus. I am over loaded with so many different inspirations, aspirations and ambitions and I want to do everything all at once.

I desperately want to remember all that I have seen and all that I want to do, but at the same time can’t start anything because of the congestion in my thoughts. You know when you buy seeds and sow the whole packet and in a week or so you get loads of shoots, all healthy and all bursting with life but so many of them in one place that you know some will get lost or die off. *pauses to take in such a terrific analogy (ikr!)

Well that’s me right now and as much as it excites me to be so inspired it also upsets me that I’m so erratic about it. I can’t get a handle on it, freewheeling with the joy of exploring all sorts and doing nowt!

So my thoughts lately are –

Fashion – I want to be that blogger who shows the latest trends for the “late 40’s” working woman/mum. I love them! I follow so many on instagram and I covert their styles, their experiences, their boldness. I have started to really try and put together my work outfits. Planning, mixing up my work capsule and trying out new styles….
For example – Pleats. Pleats, I haven’t worn pleats for yonks probably since my very first job after college but have got some long pleated skirts and I feel real dressy in them. I’m not even sure if they suit my body shape but I love them. Leading me into this pleat euphoria is that famous Holly Willoughby on Instagram! Stop posting your outfits woman, I have no budget for this!!

or

Interiors – Where to start there are a million people out there painting their furniture and houses in subtle hues of grey and white, just beautiful. New kitchens, bathrooms, playrooms (nod to The Home That Made Me) filled with gorgeous accessories. Then there are the country cottage blogs and insta’s quaint, quirky and chintzy interiors they are just my cuppa tea. So yeah go me, get cracking on the home makeover. But self sabotage kicks in. I bought a plant stand and tv table along with some Annie Sloan paint (“Old White” fyi) to up cycle and although I am a good 2 coats in, it has taken me at least 3 weeks and they have been abandoned in the front room awaiting the shabby sandpaper and waxing…. I mean they say there are doers and there are dreamers! I am a starter but not finisher *sigh I bloody annoy myself! Tonight’s the night I will do it for sure. Also my kitchen is desperately in need of a lick of paint I mean desperate but on go the blinkers and it never gets done, serious cba!

Drawing – I think this comes from Fearne Cotton’s new book Happy, which is so gorgeous I love it and I love her pen drawings and talk of how relaxing the process is. Now I have never been able to draw and so I obviously did what I always do and googled – “can anyone learn to draw?” And yes apparently you can. There are techniques and it takes lots of practice but it can be done. So off I pop straight to the works to buy pencils, a sketchpad and “Drawing for Beginners” book. Of which I have read a few pages and then stacked neatly in my little basket next to my chair where it has remained ever since.

Health & Fitness – Now my twins are the in house experts on health, I mean how many 16 year olds off set any fast food they consume with immediate fruit intake or maybe run up and down stairs 20 times? They have control of what they eat, check nutritional values and portion sizes, it seriously blows my mind. So my health kick normally starts on a Monday, and yep I am on it today. Plenty of water, fruit, vegetables and talk of going to the gym. I properly mean it too and often announce to the office or at home, but then that is kind of a mistake. Because the next day when you are troughing that jam doughnut or bag of crisps you have on lookers who question your previous day’s proclamation! Damn! So best to keep anything thing like that under wraps. Although I am on Thursday (day 4) which is the longest run I have had in while with the healthy eating but don’t tell anyone.

Someone told me that if you do something for 3 weeks then you have cracked it and it becomes a habit, I can’t seem to manage 3 days!

I think I have found the root cause to all of my mind traffic, and that is the all-encompassing social media. I have become quite the instagram junkie and well snapchat is my go to method of communication. My bff are on a snap streak of 640 days and I can’t see that stopping anytime soon. Every spare moment I have I am catching up on these snapshots into various lives. I really enjoy it and although I agree that people only tend to show the best side of themselves and the good things going on in their lives I do quite like that. It is the life shop front isn’t it? It’s great and positive and happy. I am sure some people are open to criticism but what’s wrong with being proud of a lovely selfie or the delicious cocktail or meal that you are able to devour. It’s good to feel nice about yourself. Then there are the inspirational people and quotes, my Handsome feels quite nauseous when he reads some of the life quotes I show to him but I love them. The cheesy and the inspiring I love them equally. Conversely though, I guess I have to say, any feed with constant pouting, perfectly lit, perfectly taken selfies does bore me. There is a fine line between loving yourself and being in love with yourself if you know what I mean! But it’s social media, you just scroll by or unfollow.

I also use Instagram as a diary, I look back and it reminds me of the things I have done through out the year. I know you have the memories but I’m pretty sure others are like me and forget half of what goes on within a few months but photos spark the memory make you remember the good times or even the not so good times. They are trigger pictures and I even like to go right back on peoples feed to see what they posted back in the beginning. People fascinate me and I love to see their stories unfold.

But anyway yet again I digress, I am scrolling my way for hours and hours and am watching what so many people are doing but doing nothing myself. Robbing myself of the time that I could be doing most of the things I watch. I tell myself not to look social media for a day or half a day but rarely can achieve it. Maybe I am addicted I don’t know. Perhaps a ban is necessary?

*picks up phone and refreshes Insta…….